I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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