Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
