I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Less talking, more tequila
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize