It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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