Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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