Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
