HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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