Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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