don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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