Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
