I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
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I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
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Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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