These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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