I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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