Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
