I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
