I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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