wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
