I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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