I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
