Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
