i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
