They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
not ubering you a puppy
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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