Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
