You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
