Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
