we're chasing vodka with high fives
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
