After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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