i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
