My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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