I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My balls are so social today.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
