smell my finger.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
