I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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