Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
