people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
