So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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