In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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