I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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