It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
