I'm passing your future prison.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize