How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
