You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
