She went from zero to smokin in five shots
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
