New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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