I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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