Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
