Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
