Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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