Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
