I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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