dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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