so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
