You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
