Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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