You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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