so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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