i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
