Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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