Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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