having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
