her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
