Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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