do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The air taste purple.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
