It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
