She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
what day is it and did you see me today?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
